Quick intro: I've been late for everything my entire life. My grandmother called me "the cow's tail". I was never sure what the cow was, but no matter. I was late to my wedding, but can blame that on my brothers who provided me with a serious hangover that morning.
I have a few buddies here in Jersey who know this about me very well through experience, as do a couple doctors and P.T.'s. Two close friends, one a judge and one a college professor, are on what I once saw called "Vince Lombardi time", always early, never late (part of their job descriptions).
Soooo...when my judge buddy picks me up to go to a ball game or something, he'll wait outside for me after calling or texting, and when I finally get downstairs, he calls me either a fucking asshole or on better days just a douchebag ;-)
I have many techniques to avoid this, and sometimes they work.
When going somewhere with the Mrs., I ask her to lie to me about the time we have to leave, making me think it's a half-hour earlier than it really is. I do the same in my calendar for appointments, and I write the real time on my wife's calendar on the fridge, which I rarely look at, just in case (she doesn't use an online calendar (no idea why not).
I go through periods of improvements, but it is a volatile characteristic with many moving parts (dressing, adaptive equipment, finding things I need to bring, etc.) You "strokies" know the drill.
Sooo, back to the libretto:
I was recruited for a consumer study which took place last week one morning at 11:00. I do these when I can...they usually pay about $100 for an hour session and are close by. This one paid $125. So I did my usual half-hour bump, and was ready to rock at 10:30. I did a Lyft request, and although the place is maybe a half-mile away, it is up a road directly off a highway and easy to miss, as well as a few yards after a hotel driveway. So while directing the driver carefully, and with adequate warning I thought, he missed the turn, so when we finally found the building, it was dangerously close to 11:00. I got out and went up to the 8th floor; I've done quite a few of these -- they put you in a room with one-way mirrors (feels like a bad "Get Smart" episode) to talk with a random bunch of people and a moderator about some product or similar. So when I walked into the office at like 11:03, I asked the receptionist if I was too late. MUCH to my surprise, she said, no, you're early -- we don't start until 11:15; have a seat, but before you do, take this (below) and don't lose it -- we're having a drawing after the session for the "Earlybirds" and the prize is an extra $50. They pay with pre-dosed Visa cards. I stuck it in some pocket, sat down after getting some coffee. They called us in, and I am now an acknowledged expert on probiotics -- I did not know they were made with either biotics...or whatever they are, I failed chemistry, or yeast (the women there called it "the y-word").
After the session we went back to the waiting area...the receptionist drew a number, and I of course could not find my ticket..but just before prepping to draw another, she walked over to me and saw it on the floor...I got lucky... I expected a separate card for 50 bucks, but it was just added onto the $125. So my wife and I are going out for a really nice dinner tonight :-)
if I can get a reservation...I better get on the blower now!
seek truth and peace,
bruce
the Golden Ticket
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